writing-prompt-s:

benjaminflynn:

writing-prompt-s:

In your meth class, while your teacher is busy explaining the correct way to shoot up, your buddy leans over with a calculator and asks you, “hey, man. Do you wanna try some math?”

I clasped my hand nervously. “Math?”

The guy in the hoody nodded. “You heard me.”

“Bro, that stuff’s deadly. Like, don’t people get seriously hooked on that?” I whispered.

The hooded man was silent. “Take it or leave it. One time offer.”

I looked at the needle hanging out of my arm. Meth didn’t seem good enough any more. I needed something more. I needed Meth…to the power of 2. Meth squared.

“Okay, hit me. What you got?”

The shady figure leaned close to me. “We’ll start nice and slow.” He slid a sheet of equations across the desk. “Find x for these bad boys.” 

My heart fluttered. I hadn’t felt like this for a long time. It wasn’t till I got to the last equation that I felt the euphoria of pure math. A quadratic equation. Two possible values for x. I felt an aura of ethereal happiness. My happiness was cut short by a huge explosion.

“There’s been a math lab explosion!” Someone screamed. 

“They must’ve divided by zero.” Muttered my math dealer. “We need to get out of here.”

THIS IS GOLD

marley-gang:

sinfullyselected:

tha–snazzle:

road-twitch:

sparkle-fart-69:

winterinthetardis:

*shows up 15 months late with starbucks* anyway here’s my vine compilation

Fuck, Millennials are fucking hilarious

I always feel better about youths after a good vine comp.

t-t-t-t-t-target!!!!!

“Do you speak any Japanese?”

“I’m Chinese I don’t speak any-”

“‘Cause if you do, I’ll sleep with you right now.”

“MITSUBISHI, TOYOTA”

“Bitch cone get me, not only is he ugly but his dishes talk!”
“Who you talking to Belle?”
“Uh… No one…. bitch that was his plate!”